The loser does the dishes for seventeen people, and it has never been me

Four hundred lemon trees, one Vespa, and I've hit three of the trees

My oldest dog hides her pills in the couch and I've found eleven so far, so yes, she is winning

Fair warning: you start at a 6.5 out of 10, and I will be updating the number

I count everything in eights, including how long you take to answer

I remember everyone's order, and somehow everyone's secrets

My mom has never once asked how my shift went, only whether I ate, and I'm starting to think it's the same question

I've done makeup for 206 brides and introduced three couples, and the only person who has ever set me up is my mother